Interview With Many Wrestlers
by AngryMew2
Summary: Basically, what the title says. PG-13 for language. *Chapters 1-8 are done* Chapter 8 features The Dudley Boys [minus Spike]! HOLLA IF YA HEAR ME![i'm not a stenier fan, i've just always wanted to say that]
1. Chapter 1 The Hardys& Lita

Disclaimer- If I owned the WWF…where do I begin?  Well, the Hardy Boys wouldn't be fighting, Matt and Lita would be engaged, so would Spike and Molly [she would also never have become 'Mighty Molly'  but I think you figured that one out], Vince McMahon would be fired as would *sees all the Austin fans glaring at her* um…DDP!  But, I think you can tell I don't own the WWF.  Wooo! [Ric Flair style]

A/N- Go easy on me, this is my first wrestling fic.

A/N2- I will be known as AM to save time and space.  Enjoy!

Interview With Many wrestlers 

The Hardy Boys and Lita

[Hardys and Lita enter the room, voluntarily I might add]

AM- Please, sit down.

M- Thanks…why are we here?

AM- so I can interview you and find out which one of you can make a sound like a wet cat being systematically poked apart by deranged chickens.

J [eyes widen]- How'd you know…*shuts his mouth*

AM- Anyway, Matt, why the f*** did you break up with Lita?!

L- Really, was it something I did, Matt?

M- No babe, it wasn't you [Lita smiles].  The writers figured since the Hardys haven't had much trouble like this kind of thing before, now was the perfect time, especially with the way Jeff and I had been fighting beforehand.

AM- Ok.  Next, do you like Stacy Keibler?

M- F*** no!  She is such a f***in slut!

AM- Good.  Now, Jeff *Jeff gulps* do you like Lita?

J- Why are you asking me this?

AM *looks at him innocently*- Just wondering.

J- Nope, We're just friends that's all.

M- And that's a very good thing cuz if you did I would have had to rip your rainbow-colored hair right out of your scalp!

AM- Hey, be nice!

M- Why, it's not as if you like Jeff, is it?

AM- I'll ask the questions here, thank you!  Lita-

M [taunting]- You like Jeff, you like Jeff!

AM [defensively]- So what if I do?

J- Oh no, now I've got another author obsessed with me!!  Oh, the humanity!  Where will it end?!!

[Jacqueline jumps in]- You can't have Jeff, he's mine!

AM- really?  Want to fight for it, b****? *stands up and takes a fighting stance*

Ja- Well, why not!

AM- Well, you better bring it.

Ja- Oh, it's already been brought! [Ever seen "Not Another Teen Movie"?]

AM- Come on then, b****

J- I'll just leave now…*edges toward the door*

AM- I wouldn't do that if I was you.

J- Why?

AM- Because if you do you'll be turned into a wet cat soon to be systematically poked apart by deranged chickens.

J [non-believingly]- Is that so?

AM*nods*- I jinxed the door.

J- Well, I don't believe it. *He opens the door and later on the yowls of a wet cat being systematically poked apart the deranged chickens are heard*

AM- Told you so. *shakes head sadly at the loss of Jeff*

Ja- B****! You killed my crush!  

AM- Actually, it's his own fault.  He should have listened when I told him about the jinxed door.

Ja- I guess you're right.

AM- No, I'm always right cuz I'm the author and can make you die with the click of a keyboard! MWAHAHAHA!

L- Anyone want to come with me to get a cappuccino?

AM& Ja- Sure.

*The girls walk out, leaving poor Matt confused and alone*

M- I guess I should say so long! Next time, I have no idea who she's gonna interview.  I had no idea Jeff could make sounds like a wet cat…[trails off into thought]

The End 

A/N- Yes, I know it sucks. I wrote it like 20 minutes.  "Not Another Teen Movie" is the newest thing in the theatres where I live and the thing I mentioned before is from when these two cheerleaders are fighting.  


	2. Chapter 2 Raven& Terri

Disclaimer- I said it before!  Keep your shirt on!  I don't own the WWF!

Interview with Many Wrestlers 

Raven and Terri

AM- Well, I guess my next guinea pigs should be in soon.  And they are [looks down at list] Raven and Terri.

[Raven and Terri walk in.  Terri does that thing with her hands to make devil horns.]

AM- Um, Terri I'm straight.

T [gasps]- You b****!  How dare you call me a lesbian?!

AM- Then what was with that devil horn thingy?

T- I was posing for my fans.

AM- There are no cameras in here, so therefore there are no horny bastards for you to show your boobs to.  So, sit down, shut up, and let's get this interview on the road!

T [pouts] -Fine. [She and Raven sit down.]

AM- Now, Raven.  Why raven?  Why not a crow?  Or a blackbird?

R- Ravens are loners.  Scavengers of society's scraps, if you will.

AM- But you've got Terri hanging all over you.

R- She's the female raven.

AM- Ok then.  We're going to play a little game now called Withhold.  Now, if you have a withhold about anyone in the WWF or in your life, say so.  Just let it all out. And don't be afraid to cry.

T- Ok, my first withhold is about that b**** Trish Stratus!  I mean, come on, Stratusfaction? Who the f*** does she think she is?  Me?  And the way she flirts with The Rock!  It pisses me off so much!

AM- Anything else to say about Trish?

T- No, actually.

AM- Good.  Now Raven, what about you?

R [sniffling]- Well, when I was 6, I was playing with Booker T on the playground.  He called me a 'sucka' and IT HURT MY FEELINGS! [begins bawling like a baby]

AM [pats Raven on the head]- It's ok.  Don't be ashamed of your tears.  Let it all out.  It's gonna be okay.  Now do you have any other withholds?

R [stopped crying]- No.

AM- Ok, now, what's the deal with the skirt?

R [defensively]- It's not a skirt, it's a kilt.

AM- Looks like a skirt to me, but whatever.  Now, Terri, would you ever get back together with Perry Saturn?

T- F*** no!  That guy had no f***in brains and was obsessed with that god d*** mop!

[Perry runs in] DON'T DISS MOPPY!

AM- Perry, go home and eat some cookies.

P [pouting]-ok. [Walks out]

AM- Now, Terri, if you cold spend the night with any man in the WWF besides Raven, who would it be?

T[thinks]- hm…probably…Test.  He's such a hottie.

AM- Yeah, ok.  But have you noticed how he ALWAYS seems to go for girls that are taken or on the rebound?

T- What do you mean?

AM- For starters, he asked Lita out RIGHT after Matt broke up with her [Ok, let me just say that I nearly cried when that happened.  I know I can't be the only one.].  Then, he asked out Torrie Wilson, even though he should know d*** well she's with Tajiri.

T- I see what you're saying, but he's still a hottie.

AM- Whatever.  You guys are giving me a headache.  See you later.

[Raven and Terri walk out]

AM- Well, that's all for now.  Stay tuned for the next chapter when I interview…I have no idea!

TBC

A/N- Yes, I KNOW this part sucked!

A/N2- Do you have any ideas as to who I should interview next?  If you do, e-mail me!  Thanks!


	3. Chapter 3 Shane McMahon

Disclaimer- Let me put this simple for you: I.  Don't.  Own.  The.  W. W. E.

Interview With Many Wrestlers 

Chapter 3- Shane McMahon

[Shane McMahon walks in.]

SM [singing]: here comes the money…

AM2 [shakes head]: Oi…stupid muses.  Welcome, Shane.  Now sit down, and let's get this interview on the road.

SM: All right, then. [he sits down]

AM2: now, first question, what made you decide to buy WCW in the first place? [a/n- yes, I know this is old!]

SM: Wanted to get my father outta business.

AM2: Ok…why did you sell all your stock to Ric Flair?

SM: Steph didn't tell me she did that!  I'm gonna kill her!

AM2: Okay…are you thinking of coming back anytime soon?

SM: Just wait…Eric and I have been talking for quite some time now…[gets a very evil look about him]

AM2: You're scaring me!  Stop that!  Next question: Do you think your father made a wise decision when he hired Stephanie as GM of Smackdown?

SM: I don't give a shit about my sister, all right?  In fact, I HOPE Eric destroys Smackdown.

AM2: All right.  Calm down, calm down.  Now, we're going to play a game…

SM: Oh dear god…

AM2: Not like that!  It's called Word Association.  I say a word, you say the first thing that comes to mind, okay?

SM: okay…I guess.

AM2: Mother

SM: Controlling bitch.

AM2: Big Ego-ed Bastard.

SM: Father.

AM2: Hm…interesting. [Scribbles something on a clipboard, which is revealed to be a game of tic-tac-toe.] Sister.

SM: Disgusting, brutal, bottom feeding trash-bag ho.

AM2: Alright, I'm definitely sensing some anger towards your family.  Is there a reason for all this?  Also, have you been hanging out with Chris Jericho?

SM: My father always said I was a mistake.  My mother may as well be the reason WCW and ECW went out of business, and my sister's a good-for-nothing bitch! And, no, I have NOT been hanging out with Chris Jericho.  He's in love with her.  I've been hanging out with HHH.

AM2 [gets very interested]: Is that so…[scribbles something on her clipboard which is now a game of connect the dots] Anyway, speaking of HHH, can I get your opinion on his recent attack on Shawn Micheals, a.k.a. HBK?

SM: yeah!  Shawn had it coming to him, son of a bitch!  Hunter's right!  He IS weak!  Shawn should have listened and now he can't wrestle anymore.

AM2: Ok, I think you better leave now.

SM: What the hell?  Why do I have to leave?

AM2: I'm sick of you saying bitch, now get out!

SM: FINE! [goes to leave, but turns around] But I'll have you know, that there will never be any money coming your way!

AM2: First of all, if you're asking me to sleep with you, I'd sooner kill myself.  Second, if you're not, I don't want your dirty money!

[Shane leaves, apparently very peeved.]

AM2: That was interesting, now wasn't it?  Stay tuned until next time when I interview HHH and his ex-wife Stephanie!  Until then, bye byes!!!

A/N- Ok, this one wasn't as funny as the others, but I wanted to write it and I don't care what you think.  Bye now!


	4. Chapter 4 HHH

Disclaimer- Look, I don't the WWE alright?!  I'm not Vince McMahon!

A/N- This chapter will feature just HHH, I think Stephanie and Y2J will be in the next chapter.

A/N2- Guest Appearances:

_bannonluke _as_ Luke_

_Onthaedge487 _as_ Amanda_

_aZrAeL _as_ aZrAeL_

_Pyper316 _as _Pyper_ [she doesn't make an appearance in this chapter…but she is mentioned]

Interview With Many Wrestlers

Chapter 4- HHH 

[AngryMew2 is sitting in a chair, waiting patiently, though looking very peeved.  HHH walks in.]

HHH- I _am_ the Game-uh!

AM2- Sit down and shut your trap.  I don't have all day.

HHH- What's-uh with you?

AM2- Three letters, Trip.  P.  M.  S.

HHH- *muttering* Jericho wannabe.

AM2- No.  Now, why the hell did you attack Shawn Micheals?! [Look, it pissed me off alright!]

HHH- Why-uh are you asking me that?

AM2- For the fans who didn't see RAW than night.  Now answer!

HHH- He's weak.  He-uh can't wrestle anymore!

AM2- Well, if he's so "weak"[little finger thingy to show ""], then why was he able to beat you up enough so Kane could put you in that casket?

HHH- I-uh was distracted!

AM2- *icily* I'm sure. Now, [bannonluke suddenly runs in and begins beating Triple H with an armadillo] Luke?!  How the hell did you get out of the basement?!

Luke- Ewoks are everywhere….mwahahaha!  Die HHH! [resumes beating HHH with an armadillo]

AM2- They said they were workin' for me!  Where the hell are those little fur balls?!  I want my money back!

[Onthaedge487 then runs in and joins bannonluke in beating up HHH]

AM2- Ok then…um…AZRAEL!  HELP!

[aZrAeL walks in and begins firing tazer shots at bannonluke and Onthaedge487.  They stop beating HHH after about 5 shots, run away, and cower in the corner.  HHH looks around, screams like a little girl, and runs away.  aZrAeL sits down next to AngryMew2 ]

AM2- Thanks!

aZrAeL- No problem.  I just hope you're not planning on interviewing Jericho anytime soon.

AM2- Actually, I was gonna interview him and Steph next.  Why?

aZrAeL- Pyper

AM2- That _could_ be a problem…*thinks a minute* Hey, Luke!

Luke- don't hurt me!

AM2- Chill, I won't hurt you…now.  Anyway, do you think you could get the Ewoks to tie Pyper316 up with grocery store twist ties and lock her in my basement?

Luke- Sure!

AM2- Cool.  Well, tune in next time when I interview Chris Jericho and Stephanie McMahon!

A/n- the next chapter will be out…sooner or later.  Oh yeah, here's an overview of who the next few chapters will feature:

Chapter 5- Y2J and Stephanie McMahon

Chapter 6- Edge and Christian

Chapter 7- Hulk Hogan

Chapter 8- The Dudley Boys [with Spike]


	5. Chapter 5 Steph McMahon and Y2J

Disclaimer- me…no…own…WWE!

A/N- There will be one more addition to our…er…cast.  Please welcome, EdgesGothDiva as Thorn!  Furthermore, I'll be referring to Onthaedge487 as Mandy from now on.  It saves time and space.

Interview With Many Wrestlers 

Chapter 5- Y2J & Steph McMahon

[AngryMew2, aZrAeL, and EdgesGothDiva are sitting, talking, and waiting for the next interviewees to arrive]

Thorn-When are you gonna interview Edge?

AM2-Next chapter, Thorn, next chapter.

Thorn-Yeah! [Gets very, _very_ excited]

AM2-I'm looking forward to it, too.  Now where are they?!  I don't have all day!

aZrAeL-Probably got lost.  Hey, bannonluke!

Luke-What's up?

aZrAeL-Pyper can't escape, right?

Luke-You betcha!  The Ewoks used industrial strength twist ties!

[Camera pans to see Pyper316 tied up with extra strong twist ties in my basement, fighting tooth and nail to free herself]

AM2-But they only used regular ones on you…please tell them I want my money back within the week!

Luke-I…kinda can't do that.

Thorn-And why not?

Luke-Well…they took it, bought a kangaroo, and hopped away.

AM2-You know what this reminds me of?

aZrAeL-What?

AM2-That new movie, Kangaroo Jack.

Thorn-Interesting…

Luke-Well, I gotta go find Molly Holly.  See ya!

Thorn-Good riddance!

aZrAeL-Thorn, why do you hate Luke?

Thorn-He killed Edge…[read "WWE Goes To Jurassic Park" by bannonluke, it's pretty funny]

AM2-Only in his world, Thorn, only in his world.

aZrAeL-I think they're here…I can hear 'Walls of Jericho' playing somewhere close…

Mandy-She's got elvin senses!

AM2-Where'd you come from?

Mandy-A mission, can I co-host?

[Camera pans to HHH's home.  It has been ransacked and HHH is lying in what was once a living room, twitching]

AM2-Sure.

[She sits down and Jericho kicks down the door.  Steph McMahon strolls in, looking bored]

Y2J-BOW!  Bow to the Undisputed King of the World!

AM2 [yelling because of Jericho's over-loud entrance music]-SIT DOWN, TURN IT OFF AND SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!

[the music goes off and the two sit down]

Mandy-Thank you.  Now, the first question is for you Chris.  Why do you keep harping on the fact you were the first Undisputed Champ?  Everyone knows you didn't deserve the damn belts in the first place!

Y2J-What do you mean, of course I deserved those belts and I still deserve them now.  No matter, the belt will be back with its rightful owner soon enough.

aZrAeL-As delightful as it would be to hear about your plan for Angle's downfall, we need to move on.  Now, Steph, are you glad you're GM of Smackdown?

Steph-Hell yeah!  Not only do I get to order people around, in a few weeks, I will be in the perfect position to take down Bischoff forever!  [begins looking _very_ evil]

AM2-Evilness must run in the McMahon family…anyway, Jericho, did you enjoy being naked a few weeks back for all the world to see…hey wait! I didn't write that question!  Did you guys?

aZrAeL-No.

Mandy-Sure as hell wasn't me.

Thorn-Don't look at me.

AM2-That means…

Thorn-Someone changed the questions…

aZrAeL-Pyper.  She obviously was able to get at the questions before the Ewoks tied her up.

Thorn-*notices Steph and Y2J looking very scared* Let's worry about Pyper later.  Now, Jericho, you saw AngryMew2's interview with Shane McMahon, correct?

Y2J-Yeah…*wondering where this is going*

Thorn-So, spill it!  Are you really in love with Steph?  Or was Shane just being an idiot?

Steph-Wouldn't be surprised if it was the latter.

aZrAeL-Who asked you?

Steph-Bitch!

aZrAeL-Whore!

Steph-Hoe!

aZrAeL-Slut!

AM2-Steph….aZrAeL…stop now.  We need to keep the PG-13 rating.  

Thorn-So, answer the question!

 Y2J-Well…um…you see the thing is…[is all too aware of the 5 women staring at him, waiting for an answer] yes!  I do love you, Steph!

AM2-AW!!  

Steph-Chris that's so sweet and there's no easy way to say this so I'll just say it.  I love you too.

[The two begin making out]

aZrAeL-Hey!  We need to keep the PG-13 rating, so if you're gonna pass 3rd, do it out in the car!

[Steph and Y2J leave, most likely to go find a hotel room.  Pyper316 runs in.]

Pyper-Where is he?!  They said he'd be here!

Mandy-Who's they?

Pyper-The Ewoks!  Then they jumped on the kangaroo and hopped away, yelling about Uzbekistan. At least, I think it was Uzbekistan…I don't really speak Ewok, so I couldn't really tell.

AM2-Ok then…

aZrAeL-Well, if you want to find Jericho, I believe he and Steph went…that-a-way, looking for a hotel room.

Pyper- Must…find…Jericho…must kill Steph…Jericho…all…MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!! [Pyper then runs away, yelling insanely]

Thorn- It's time for Luke to die now!  [she turns into Bloodrayne and flies out the window, shrieking demonically]

Mandy- not to be repetitive, but ok then…

aZrAeL- I agree.  Though I have to say this is the most interesting chapter so far.

AM2- Next chapter's Edge.  Now THAT'S gonna be interesting.

TBC!!

*Tune in next time when we interview…EDGE AND CHRISTIAN!!!!!!!!!!*


	6. Chapter 6 Edge and Christian

Disclaimer- ME NO OWN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!

A/N- In case you were curious, here is a list of the full cast that will be conducting the "interviews":

            _EdgesGothDiva_ as _Thorn_

_            Onthaedge487 _as _Mandy_

_            aZrAeL _as _aZrAeL_

_            Pyper316 _as_ Pyper_

_            Bannonluke _as _Luke_

_AngryMew2 [me] _as _Jade_

Interview With Many Wrestlers 

Chapter 6- Edge and Christian

[Our 'cast' is sitting in their usual comfy chairs.  There are two chairs in front of them, one is a steel chair like we would normally see on RAW or Smackdown, the other is a chair much like the cast is sitting in, only with puffier cushions.  Pyper is pouting, as she was unable to chase down Jericho and Steph's car before they got to the hotel room.  Jade and Thorn look very excited. aZrAeL, Mandy, and Luke are simply bored.  Luke is also pouting however, as he was rejected by Molly Holly.] 

Pyper- Hey, at least you got to talk to her!  I never even _saw_ Jericho, just his license plate…

Luke- But…the way she looked at me…total disgust…I was rejected for the Rock!! [a/n- a couple I've become very fond of lately(Molly/Rock, I mean)] *begins to cry on aZrAeL's shoulder*

aZrAeL- Cry me a river, build a bridge and GET OVER IT!  And while you're at it, off my shoulder!

Luke- Meanie!

aZrAeL- So I guess I'm just an insensitive bitch, huh?

Jade- Both of you stop fighting!  I can hear something…

Voice #1: Dude, you so used the last of the shampoo!

Voice #2: No I didn't!  You did!  You've got more hair than me anyway!

Voice #1: Not to mention more brains… 

Thorn- It's them!  They're coming! [begins checking her appearance]

Jade- I know! [empties a tin of Altoids into her mouth]  How's my breath?

Mandy- Man, they're acting weird!

aZrAeL- It's because we're interviewing Edge.  

Mandy- Oh…ok.  Understandable…I guess.

Luke- Quiet, Ms I-wanna-be-like-the Rock-when-I-grow up!

Mandy- You shut up Mr. I-wanna-marry-the-woman-with-the-biggest-butt-in-the-world!

Jade- Mandy, Luke, what did I tell you about the PG-13 rating?  And besides, I think they're almost here!

aZrAeL- *coughcoughpatheticcoughcough*

Thorn- Shut up, aZrAel!

[the door bangs open] C- I'M HERE!!!!!!!!! *crickets chirp, the 'cast' stares*

Jade- And?  Where's Edge?

C- *sniff* No one likes me…not fair!

Thorn- Life ain't fair!  So where is he?!

E- Right here, ladies!

Thorn- H-hi.

Jade- H-h-hey there…W-won't you sit down? *motions to the puffy chair*

E- Thanks…*looks slightly weirded out*

aZrAeL- Hey!  Crybaby!  Get your butt over here! *Christian skulks over and slumps into the steel chair.  Not long after, Jade and Thorn have attached themselves to Edge's legs*

Mandy- Luke, you ask the first question.

Luke- Ok, Christian, why did you decide to ally yourself with Chris Jericho?

C- Strong guy, powerful, protect me.

aZrAeL- Fair enough.  Now, Edge would- JADE!  THORN!  Get off him!  Give the poor guy some breathing room!

[Jade and Thorn return to their chairs, looking slightly depressed. (and I'll leave the rest to your imagination) ]

E- Woah, I can breathe.  Thanks.

aZrAeL- No problem.  Now, if you could pick one person to wrestle for the WWE championship who would it be and why?

E- I'd have to say…either Big Show or Brock Lesnar.  Without Paul Heyman around.  Loud-mouthed bastard ruined my title shot!

Thorn- I know!  I punched a hole in my wall when I saw that!

Jade- I just cursed profusely.

E- I think I'm looking at the two biggest Edgeheads ever.

Thorn& Jade- YOU KNOW IT!

E- Dude..ettes, that so totally

Edge, Thorn & Jade- REEKS OF AWESOMENESS!

Mandy- Okay, okay okay!  Now, Christian, do you like RAW or would you rather be on Smackdown?

C- RAW good.  Big Show not on RAW…me safe.

Luke- Alright, interesting. *scribbles on a clipboard, which is revealed to be a drawing of the Rock with his head on fire and him kissing Molly Holly*  Edge, if you could date any woman in the WWE, besides the 2 psychos sitting next to me, who would it be and why?

Thorn- I'm gonna get you for that, Luke…

Jade- Not if I get to him first.

E- I'd have to say…Trish.  Fellow Canadian, nice girl, and not a bad body either.

Mandy- Oh my god, is that all you guys look for in a girl?!

E- What are you talking about?

Mandy- It's all about what's up here, isn't it?! *motions to her chest*  Never what's in here?! *motions to her heart, then her head* Or in here?!

Jade- Actually Mandy, that's not ENTIRELY true.

Mandy- What're you talking about?

Jade *whispering*- Luke's obsession with Molly.

Mandy- Aaah.  Right.

Jade- Now, I'll ask the next question.  Edge, would you-

Thorn- marry me?!?!

Jade- I know your feelings, Thorn, but QUIET! Would you rather be on RAW or are you cool with Smackdown?

E- I'm cool with Smackdown.  Not having to be around Bitch-off totally reeks to awesomeness!

Whole cast: You call him that too?!

E- Yeah…

Whole cast: COOL!

Luke: Alright, Christian, if Shane McMahon was to come back and boot out Bitch-off, how would you feel? 

C- Bischoff scary…Shane cool…me be happy…

E- Dude you are SO starting to freak me out!

aZrAeL- You're not alone there, dude.

Mandy- Ok, I've got a question!  How come you can't talk in full sentences Christian?

C- me…no…stop…making…fun…me…WAAAAH!!!!!!!! *runs out crying*

Jade- Alright then!  I guess we can declare this interview over with!

Pyper- We can?

Jade- Yeah.  One of our interviewees has left.  Can't have half an interview, now can we?

Thorn- Guess not…

E- Well, I'm outta here.  See ya.

[all lovey-dovey] Jade& Thorn- Bye…

aZrAeL- oi…the things I do for entertainment…

Luke- hey!  Are you gonna interview the Undertaker any time soon?

Jade- I guess…

Pyper- After Dudleyz?

Thorn- Sure.  

Jade- Ok then, it's decided.  See you all later! *waves at camera*

TBC!!

A/N- ok, so this chapter wasn't as good as the last one but give me a break!  My brain stopped functioning about 2 days ago…and I'm on spring break now so I'm not really thinking.  So, in closing, tune in next tiem when we interview Hulk Hogan!  Bye now!


	7. Chapter 7 Hollywood Hulk Hogan

Disclaimer- Why must I continually type this?  WHY?!  WHY????!!!!

A/N- cast is the same as always, if you'd like to make an appearance and/or become a full time member of our lovely little bunch, just let me know.  I'd be able to find out sooner if you'd send me an e-mail at Fanficfrk45@aol.com.  Or, if you must, leave it in your review.  Peace out!

Interview With Many Wrestlers

Chapter 7- Hulk Hogan 

Pyper- I'm bored!!!!  When's the next interviewee coming in?!

aZrAeL- he should be here soon, right Jade?

Jade- Don't look at me!  It was Luke's job to find him.

Luke- Oh…yeah. [he walks over, leans out the door and yells something in another language that suspiciously like Pig Latin.]

Mandy- What was that all about?

Luke- our next interviewee should be arriving…now.

[Hulk Hogan is thrown in, bound and gagged.  He lands with a thud]

aZrAeL- Is someone going to untie the poor man?

Jade- I'm too tired.  Can you do it, Thorn?

Thorn- *shrugs* Sure, whatever. [She walks over and untied Hogan]

HH- Thanks, brother…er, sister.

Thorn- Whatever. [She returns to her seat.]

Pyper- I have a question for you Mr. Hogan! [jumping up and down as she talks]

HH- What, sister?

Pyper- how come you keep denying you're Mr. America?! We all know you are!!

HH- I am NOT Mr. America brother…and sister…s!  I was not even NEAR the arena that night.

Luke- You are such a god damned liar!  Not to mention a hypocrite!!

Mandy [to Jade]- Aren't you going to remind him about the PG-13 rating?

Jade- Not quite yet.  Luke seems to have a lot of pent-up rage.  I think it's good for him to get it out before he does something stupid.

Mandy- Aaah.

HH- What the hell are you talking about, brother?

Luke- Remember, when you kept going around saying 'Don't Do Drugs'?

HH- Yeah…

Luke- What the hell was that?!  We all know you were on them!

HH- Brother I am going to say this one time, I am not on drugs!

Pyper- Yeah, just like you're 'not' Mr. America!

HH- For the last time, I'm not brother…er, sister!

Jade- Alright, this is starting to bore me.  Let's play Word Association!

HH- Word Association?

Jade- Yeah.  One of us will say a word, you say the first thing that comes to mind. Okie dokie?

HH- I guess…

Luke- Steroids!

HH- Scott Steiner!

Luke- *sarcastically* Never saw that one coming…

Mandy- Red

HH- Yellow

Pyper- Jericho!

HH- extremely annoying!

Pyper- HEY!  [goes to leap at Hogan but aZrAeL hits her w/ the tazer again] OW!!!

aZrAeL- Vince McMahon

HH- Bastard

Thorn- What else is new…JR!

HH- slobberknocker!

Jade- Damn straight!  King

HH- Loudmouthed pervert

Luke- Holla if ya hear me!  Holy shit I just said a Steiner phrase!!  Is there soap anywhere?!  Disinfectant?!

HH- Mr. Clean!

Jade- Have you suddenly turned into Perry Saturn?

HH- Idiot!

Jade- I am not!

Thorn- Jade, he still thinks we're doing the Word Association thing.

Jade- Oooh.  Luke, put down the bottle of Clorox before you hurt yourself!

Luke- Must…wash…mouth…Steiner…FOUL!! *runs out screaming*

HH- Chicken!

Jade- Alright, Hogan, get out!

HH- Outside!

Thorn- Allow me. *she walks over, picks up Hogan and chucks him out the door.  Sometime later we hear a loud thud, cursing, and high-pitched shrieking.

aZrAeL- where'd you throw him?

Thorn- Steph and Jericho's hotel room.

aZrAeL- Good one.

[Luke walks back in, grinning.]

Pyper- Dude!  Your teeth are like, super shiny!

Jade- So I assume your mouth in clean again?

Luke- Yup!  Edge gave me some of his mouthwash.  He says the secret is bleach.

aZrAeL- that's believable.

Jade *turns to camera*- Well, that's all for now.  Tune in next time when we interview…the Dudley Boyz!

Pyper- With Spike?

Jade- Nah.  He and Molly can have their own chapter.

Luke- NO!  Spike must not be present!  Molly is mine!

aZrAeL- You wish!

Luke- Sadly, that's all it is…a wish.

Mandy- Yeah…that was scary.  Hey can we interview the Rock soon?

Thorn- How about after we interview Undertaker?

Jade- Okay, but let's make it a double.

aZrAeL- Who're we gonna pair him with?

Jade- Trish

Luke- NO!  Not Trash!

Thorn- There's just no pleasing you, is there Luke?

Luke- So I can't stand Trish, big deal!  But I will be happy when we interview Undertaker!

Jade- Alright then.  I say we just end this chapter right now before any of us suffer permanent mental damage.  Peace out!

TBC!!

A/N- Here's a layout of who the next few chapters will feature:

Chapter 8- The Dudley Boyz

Chapter 9- The Undertaker

Chapter 10- The Rock and Trish Stratus

Chapter 11- Spike Dudley and Molly Holly

Chapter 12- Stone Cold Steve Austin


	8. Chapter 8 The Dudley Boyz

Disclaimer- My name ain't Steph McMahon

                  I don't own the WWE

                  I don't own any superstars

                  All I own is me!

A/N-We have a new addition to our lovely little bunch!  [Luke] yeah, lovely, and Hogan's not a moron. [Jade] Quiet, you!  Please welcome _Sonar_ as _Brandy_! [applause]

Interview With Many Wrestlers 

Chapter 8- The Dudley Boyz

[As usual, the cast is seated in their comfy chairs.  However, there is an extra chair in the cast row.  In addition, there are two wooden chairs across from them.  Near the back of the room is a folded up table.  Trouble is brewing already.] 

Luke- You know, even though Edge's mouth wash saved me from Steiner phrases my breath really reeks now!

Pyper- Really?!  Lemme smell! [Luke breaths on her] Oh god!  Did you eat a dead fish or something!?!

Luke- No, just drank Edge's mouthwash.

Edge- DUDE!  You're not supposed to drink it!  You just swirl it in your mouth and spit it out then viola!  Your breath will totally reek of minty freshness!  And your teeth will sparkle like diamonds too!

Luke- Oops…*blushes*

Thorn- Oi…So, are we really getting a new cast member?

Jade- You betcha!  Come on in, Brandy!

[Sonar walks in, looking slightly nervous.  She sits down in the empty chair]

Brandy- Comfy…

Mandy- Hey, don't be so uptight and nervous.  We're all nice here, don't worry.

Brandy- Okay…so, are the Dudley Boyz here yet?

aZrAeL- No!  And if I have to wait much longer we're going to have serious problems!

[Suddenly the door breaks down and the Dudley Boyz walk in]

D-Von& Bubba- WAZZZZZUP!?!?!?!

Brandy *lovey-dovey*- hi…

Mandy- alright, fix the door, sit down and let's get this interview on the road!

[The Dudley Boyz follow Mandy's instructions.  Brandy looks as if she could faint, much like Jade and Thorn did during Edge's interview]  

Pyper- ok, I'll go first, why do you hate Eric Bischoff?  Both of you can answer!

D-Von- Man's a dirty perverted scum-bag

Bubba- Yeah and he tried to fire us, too!

aZrAeL- no shit Sherlock!  Anyway, Bubba, why do you feel the need to beat up Trish?

Luke- Because she's a dirty good-for-nothing hoe!!

Jade- As a Trish fan, Luke, I have to hit you now. *hits Luke with an armadillo*  Please continue.

Bubba- She never made good on her promises!

Mandy- *raises an eyebrow, looking disgustingly like a female version of The Rock* Promises?

Bubba- she promised she'd sleep with me!

aZrAeL- And…she never did?

Bubba- no!  I was rejected for Rainbow Brite!

Pyper- So…your beating up Trish is symbolizing your anger towards her feelings for Jeff Hardy?

Bubba- YEAH!  And the fact that she never slept with me!

Jade- *mutters* it's all about sex.  Anyway, D-Von, why did you decide to go back to being a Dudley and abandon your pursuit of religion?

D-Von- I missed puttin' people through tables.  Plus I was sick of that bastard Batista beatin' on me!

Jade- Interesting…

Luke- Why were you guys so mean to Spike and Molly?

Mandy- Luke, that's ancient history!

Thorn *whispering*- You know how obsessed he is with Molly

Mandy- Yeah, but…is it healthy?

Thorn- No.  But is my and Jade's obsession with Edge healthy?

Mandy- What does that have to do with anything?

Thorn- Absolutely nothing.

Bubba- Because Molly's a little floosey.  Always has been always will be.

Pyper- you're gonna regret that one…

Luke- She is not! *grabs Bubba by throat* Take it back!  Take it back, damnit!

aZrAeL- Luke, let go of Bubba NOW!

Luke- Not until he takes it back! *begins to vigorously shake Bubba, looking like some sick impression of Homer choking Bart [a/n- it's The Simpsons, people]

aZrAeL- Let go or I'm getting the tazer!

Luke- EEP!  *lets go of Bubba, runs, and cowers in a corner*

Bubba- Thanks…*massaging his neck* damn, he's got a strong grip…

Jade- okay, this next question is for both of you.  If you could wrestle anyone in the WWE for the Tag Team Championship who would they be and why?

Bubba- APA, no contest.

D-Von: No, it'd have to be those French bastards, La Resistent…or whatever the hell they call themselves.

[The entire cast is very happy at this.  Luke has returned to his chair, though he has taken to twitching every few seconds, a wild, scared expression on his face.

Mandy: Why La Resistance, Bubba?

Bubba- Have you ever watched them?  Enough said right there.

Luke: I *twitch* agree.  But why not *twitch* APA?

D-Von: We already fought them, Bubba, remember?

Bubba: Oh yeah, and we kicked their asses, too!

D-Von: Hell yeah!

Bubba: Hey, D-Von

D-Von: What, man?

Bubba: GET THE TABLES!

Mandy: Um, I hate to interrupt, but who do you plan to put through the table?

D-Von: the armadillo!

Jade: Absolutely not!  The poor thing's been through enough!  It was used to beat HHH in chapter four!

Brandy: You can put me through a table!

Bubba: Okay. [D-Von sets up the table and they proceed to perform the 3-D on Brandy, and then walk out.]

Pyper: What an unceremonious end to such a chapter.

aZrAeL: Pyper, since when did you know big words like unceremonious?

Pyper: HEY! Jade, give me the armadillo.

Jade: Hell no!  This poor thing needs rest…and a name!

Luke: How about Army?

Brandy: I like Dillo *she faints*

Mandy: what about Dill?

Pyper: Too much like Rugrats.  We could be sued for copyright infringement and eys I know what those words mean!

Jade: Why don't we call him Bob?

[Everyone more or less agrees]

Luke: Can I just say something?  I don't remember ever agreeing to interview Stone Cold!

Jade: Every now and then I have to make an executive decision, Luke.

Luke: Who says you have the power to do that?

Jade: um…this fic is published under my name.  I kinda suffered through interviewing not only HHH but also Terri and Raven.

Luke: Oh…yeah.

Jade: but if it makes you feel better, our next interviewee is the Undertaker.

Luke: Seriously?

Thorn: Yep.

Luke: EEP! [he begins running around, acting loonier than before Edge was interviewed]

Mandy: Wait til he finds out we're interviewing Molly soon.

TBC!!

A/N- There ya go, chapter 8!  What insanity awaits in Chapter 9?  Read to find out!


End file.
